Making this Mother’s Day Different from the Last

Bereaved Mother's Day

Last year, a wise mom who had gone through her own child loss gave me some helpful advice: don’t go to church on Mother’s Day. On many other days of the year, maybe I would handle my grief well.

But having just lost Hadassah two months before, I would have just broken into pieces during that service. I was spending another Mother’s Day as a mom without a baby to cuddle, and I would need time off to hold onto my wonderful husband and work through the pain.

Last year, I wouldn’t exactly say that we observed Mother’s Day as much as we gave ourselves space for the world to observe it around us. This year, though, what if you and I celebrated the day as we should? Should we always have to feel guilt and sorrow because we’re mothers on Mother’s Day? Continue reading “Making this Mother’s Day Different from the Last”

Find Healing through Online Grief Support

Online Grief Support

If you’ve experienced any grief over losing your child, you know just how extremely vital it is to get support. You may have seen the effects of the amazingly supportive people in your life, or you may understand the effects of living without support. For many, you might just fear the shame of asking for someone else’s help. Enter online grief support—through AfterTalk, to be exact.

You may have seen the article that I recently wrote for AfterTalk, and I thank you deeply for all your support. Many of you read this article and shared it on social media.

But AfterTalk actually goes beyond their inspirational stories and quotes on their blog. This grief website is an online support group that you can join for FREE, and they have several communities. Continue reading “Find Healing through Online Grief Support”

The Anniversary: We Actually Enjoyed Our Daughter’s Birthday

deceased child anniversary

Many of you already know that we celebrated our daughter’s birthday a mere two days ago—without her here. And yes, we did actually celebrate. 🙂 It wasn’t the easiest day out of the year, but Kenny and I both agreed that we had an extremely good day remembering our precious girl.

Continue reading “The Anniversary: We Actually Enjoyed Our Daughter’s Birthday”

Coping with the Physical Effects of Grief

Grief Physical Effects

It makes sense that you would feel the physical effects of grief taxing your body and emotions when your child’s death first happens. Everyone offers his sympathy and nods his assent then.

They may not know grief personally, but they can relate to your feelings. After all, you just experienced the tragic loss of your child. That’s not supposed to happen.

But what about two months later? How about the six- or nine-month mark?

Continue reading “Coping with the Physical Effects of Grief”

5 Subtle Ways to Remember Your Deceased Child

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The Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons can provide so much joy and warmth, filled with teasing family and gift exchanges. For some of you, though, this season will remind you of a terrible trial—and your deceased child.

Continue reading “5 Subtle Ways to Remember Your Deceased Child”

When Grief Turns into Depression

Grief-related depression

We kind of expect a level of depression when we lose our children. We would feel wrong about bouncing back into normal life without heart-wrenching grief or those lifeless, empty moments. Still, you don’t want your grief-related depression to sink too far.

Continue reading “When Grief Turns into Depression”

The Five Stages of Grief and Living Through Them

stages-of-grief

After I went to my one-week and six-weeks checkups after labor, I reflected on how much my midwife stressed my emotions. Even when I checked in, the automated tablet Jenny’s clinic provided would always pry into the stages of grief I was currently confronting.

Continue reading “The Five Stages of Grief and Living Through Them”

Miscarriages Happen

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Many of you can’t identify with my story. My baby Hadassah had a rare condition called ectopia cordis that only affects 5-8 babies out of 1 million. Still, many of you have experienced your own deep grief, some losing your babies to miscarriage.

Don’t undervalue the grief accompanying a miscarriage. No matter how early you lose your baby, you will still grieve.

Continue reading “Miscarriages Happen”

What If Your Husband Isn’t There for You?

grieving-alone

I can’t say that I’m writing from experience. I can only imagine the hardship it would be if I couldn’t rely on Kenny when I’m sad. But I know some of you out there do go it alone. I’ve heard some of your stories.

Even I had to grieve alone sometimes when Kenny was at work. Sometimes I think I healed more during those times. I actually had to face my grief head on.

Continue reading “What If Your Husband Isn’t There for You?”

Losing a Child Unexpectedly

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We were prepared to lose Hadassah.

Kenny and I had 16 weeks to prepare our hearts for Hadassah’s death. I’m not sure if you would call that fortunate or not. But the reality is that we could grieve before it actually happened, meaning we could jump back into real life faster.

Many of your stories happened much more quickly. One minute your baby was giggling with that gummy grin and the next you were walking away from his casket at the funeral.

Continue reading “Losing a Child Unexpectedly”