Quotes to Comfort the Grieving

Thoughtful Eye

I’m not sure why we humans adore good quotes. They’re just words that someone else said. But those quotes empower us somehow. They reach into this world from another era in history, and they guide us.

After Hadassah died, a sweet bereaved mother from Arizona mailed a box to us. It was our comfort box, full of quotes and excerpts of articles about losing a child. I cried when I opened it and read the words so carefully compiled by this fellow angel mommy.

I know it made me cry, but it also soothed me. I found a few that I pray will comfort you as well.

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Peace? After Losing My Child?

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Peace — not the word that I would have used after the loss of my children. Anything but that word actually. Sad, depressed, angry. Those words characterized my every moment.

Eventually, through many discussions with great friends and caring family, I could say that I had a semblance of peace. I could walk into church, crack open my weathered, burgundy Bible, and smile through Pastor’s sermon without an accusing question burning in my mind. That spiritual peace had been restored.

But there is another way that losing a child can destroy confidence: peace in everyday life. In a way, this everyday peace is still a lack of trust in God for me. Sometimes I lie awake at 1 am, my eyes aching for their rest, but I still cannot sleep.

My heart jumps at every sound; my eyes dart to the corner of the room, to the closet, to the curtain softly swaying in the breeze created by the fan. Although I don’t quite panic, still an underlying fear resounds off pitch within me. I try to calm it with stored up Bible verses like Isaiah 26:3-4; sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don’t.

I am working daily to trust that bad things don’t happen every single day to the same people, but I do have to work at it. What about you? Have your experiences destroyed your peace in your everyday life? What have you done to help gain peace again?

by Sarah George

Don’t Forget Daddy

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I was recently going through some pictures of Hadassah’s birth, and I always noticed how supportive Kenny was throughout the whole day. When I was in labor, he massaged my back, communicated with family, questioned the nurse, and checked on me every few minutes. He made sure that I was fed and pampered.

When Hadassah was born, he cried and stroked his little girl until she went to Heaven, and he held her for hours afterward at the hospital, tears glistening on his cheeks. I have never seen him cry so much.

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How the Bible Helped Me through Child Loss

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Whether you have suffered a miscarriage or carried your baby full-term, child loss is equally anguishing. Turning to God throughout this trial is a must. When you have no peace, trust in the One Who is everlasting Peace. When you have no stability, trust the One Who created the world. When you no longer have the strength to step out of bed in the morning, trust the One Who is everlasting Strength.

As I grieve my babies who are in Heaven, I continually remember God’s promises in His word about trials. I remember a specific instance when I was depressed about Hadassah’s death. I was so depressed that I literally felt weighed down, my body slumping while I vegetated on the couch.

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The Absolute Best Way to Cope with Grief

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Dear Angel Mommy,

You can talk to counselors, cry on your loved one’s shoulder, or even read through this blog all that you need to. You can follow all the steps, identifying each stage of grief that you have surpassed. You can scrapbook, journal, sew, and rock yourself to sleep every hour of every day.

And let me tell you, the emptiness that you feel may never go away. You will never fully recover, and you may even experience repercussions such as physical ailment, emotional instability, and an overprotective will toward other loved ones. I will repeat that part: you may never fully recover.

Encouraging, right? I haven’t yet divulged the big secret. It is the single best (and in my experience, the only) way of dealing with grief. You cannot shake it away, lose it, or only access it at limited times. It is the only way to deal with grief whether you have ten million people crying over your loss or if not one other soul besides yourself knows that your baby existed. Here it is: you absolutely must cry out to God.

Let’s start from the ground up. In order to cry out to God for help during this trial, you must first know Him as your Savior. You may be reading this post right know and thinking, “I believe in God. Sure, I’ll just say a quick prayer to cover all my bases” or “I’ve been to church before and even became a member recently. That should count.”

The Bible says in James 2:19, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.” If you do believe that God exists, then you have made a great stride. But you should know that even demons believe in God and fear Him.

You have to go one step farther from just believing that a God might exist. You have to place your trust in His salvation.

Why should you? Other than this grief thing kinking your life, you may have a pretty good life. You try to help people and say kind words and get along with others well. You may give money to the homeless or even read the Bible.

But all of those good things do not mean that you have placed your faith in God. I love the way Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort explain salvation in this video.

Basically, no matter how much good you have done in your life, you cannot earn favor with God. Revelation 21:8 says that liars, murderers, and adulterers will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. Well, you have probably told a lie sometime in your life, but murdering or committing adultery?

Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” He goes on in 1 John 3:15, “ Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.”

God’s standard is so high that just hating your brother is equal to murder in His eyes and desiring to be with someone sexually is considered adultery. You see, God looks at the heart and not at the outward man.

If God judges your heart on Judgment Day when you are standing before Him, would He be a good Judge to let you go free? Would a judge be a good judge to pardon a murderer, even if the murderer had also done a lot of good in his life? I don’t think so.

Yes, God is love. John 3:16 says that God so loved the world. But God is also a holy God. Merriam-Webster defines holy well: someone who is “worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness.” If God is holy, meaning that He is sacred because of His perfection, then you or I cannot expect God to simply accept and love our unholy ways.

Something is missing. If you cannot be justified by your good works before God, then you are doomed to eternity in Hell. You legally deserve for God to cast you into black fire for an infinite length of time because you violated His laws.

But God is a loving God. He sent His Son Jesus to earth 2000 years ago to die for the sins that you committed today. Jesus, perfect and loving, took our sins on Himself so that we do not have to endure Hell.

Here’s what you need to do. You need to accept His free gift to you by not only believing that God exists and that He did die for your sins but also by turning away from your sin and following after God with your life.

You need to accept Him! You cannot even begin to heal from your grief without His help. I beg you to consider this. If you have any questions about how to accept Him or would just like someone to talk to about your trust in Him, please use the contact form below. I would love to show you how God helped me overcome my grief through His peace.

Sincerely,

Sarah George

When Others Have Children

RSP6NAGL6BMost of you that know me should know by now that I have a new niece! But having lost my daughter only four months ago, you can only imagine what others were thinking. Was I going to be emotionally all right around my sister’s baby? I wasn’t even sure.

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Grieving Well

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Before you can learn to get back to some sort of normal, you do need to grieve well. I’m still learning about the grieving process because, well, I’m still grieving. But from what I understand about grief, it’s like an overbearing mother-in-law: you won’t be happier by ignoring it. The same with grief. You must grieve. Continue reading “Grieving Well”

Getting Back to Normal

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After all that you’ve gone through, angel mommy, it can be hard to consider living pleasurably again. I felt as if life could never be normal for me. I couldn’t even fathom going through a day where I didn’t solemnly think about Haven and Hadassah. The truth is that your children wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life defeated just because they passed away. Continue reading “Getting Back to Normal”

Angel Mommies: Helping Others Help You

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OK, so I can’t let you angel mommies off the hook. Just because I recently posted about how to respond to your grief, does not mean that others are solely responsible for this conversation. It is indeed a conversation. You should reach out too. Here a few ways to help others help you:

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When You Lose Your Child, Part 2

Losing your child can be one of the hardest experiences you ever endure. You may even feel as if the world around you isn’t real anymore, as if you’re in some game where you took a blow. You don’t want to forget your little one. Continue reading “When You Lose Your Child, Part 2”