How to Approach a Bereaved Mother

Bereaved Mother

I have spent eleven months in this new journey as a bereaved mother. It’s funny how much you think you know about something until you experience it. Then, when you have experienced that thing, all the guess work, philosophizing, and what-ifs are thrown out the door. Now, you really know the subject.

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13 Perfect Gifts for Bereaved Mothers

gifts for bereaved mothers

Christmas is peeking at us right around the corner, and we’re all rushing to find those perfect gifts for family and friends. Maybe someone in your life recently lost a child, and you’re wondering what to get them. So, as a mommy who has gone through the trial of losing a child, I rounded up a few gifts that I think would be perfect for bereaved mothers.

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When Your Loved Ones Try to Understand your Grief

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Those of us who have gone through the tragedy of losing a child have probably heard a few surprising comments from loved ones. They are trying to understand how you feel, but they might miss the mark sometimes.

I’m writing this article in response to Rhonda O’ Neill’s recent article in Huffington Post. I do understand how certain condolences can sometimes add to someone’s pain. In fact, I have read so many articles about how the grieved have been afflicted that I have started wondering about this topic myself. Do people really offend each other so often?

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The Absolute Best Way to Cope with Grief

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Dear Angel Mommy,

You can talk to counselors, cry on your loved one’s shoulder, or even read through this blog all that you need to. You can follow all the steps, identifying each stage of grief that you have surpassed. You can scrapbook, journal, sew, and rock yourself to sleep every hour of every day.

And let me tell you, the emptiness that you feel may never go away. You will never fully recover, and you may even experience repercussions such as physical ailment, emotional instability, and an overprotective will toward other loved ones. I will repeat that part: you may never fully recover.

Encouraging, right? I haven’t yet divulged the big secret. It is the single best (and in my experience, the only) way of dealing with grief. You cannot shake it away, lose it, or only access it at limited times. It is the only way to deal with grief whether you have ten million people crying over your loss or if not one other soul besides yourself knows that your baby existed. Here it is: you absolutely must cry out to God.

Let’s start from the ground up. In order to cry out to God for help during this trial, you must first know Him as your Savior. You may be reading this post right know and thinking, “I believe in God. Sure, I’ll just say a quick prayer to cover all my bases” or “I’ve been to church before and even became a member recently. That should count.”

The Bible says in James 2:19, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.” If you do believe that God exists, then you have made a great stride. But you should know that even demons believe in God and fear Him.

You have to go one step farther from just believing that a God might exist. You have to place your trust in His salvation.

Why should you? Other than this grief thing kinking your life, you may have a pretty good life. You try to help people and say kind words and get along with others well. You may give money to the homeless or even read the Bible.

But all of those good things do not mean that you have placed your faith in God. I love the way Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort explain salvation in this video.

Basically, no matter how much good you have done in your life, you cannot earn favor with God. Revelation 21:8 says that liars, murderers, and adulterers will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. Well, you have probably told a lie sometime in your life, but murdering or committing adultery?

Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” He goes on in 1 John 3:15, “ Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.”

God’s standard is so high that just hating your brother is equal to murder in His eyes and desiring to be with someone sexually is considered adultery. You see, God looks at the heart and not at the outward man.

If God judges your heart on Judgment Day when you are standing before Him, would He be a good Judge to let you go free? Would a judge be a good judge to pardon a murderer, even if the murderer had also done a lot of good in his life? I don’t think so.

Yes, God is love. John 3:16 says that God so loved the world. But God is also a holy God. Merriam-Webster defines holy well: someone who is “worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness.” If God is holy, meaning that He is sacred because of His perfection, then you or I cannot expect God to simply accept and love our unholy ways.

Something is missing. If you cannot be justified by your good works before God, then you are doomed to eternity in Hell. You legally deserve for God to cast you into black fire for an infinite length of time because you violated His laws.

But God is a loving God. He sent His Son Jesus to earth 2000 years ago to die for the sins that you committed today. Jesus, perfect and loving, took our sins on Himself so that we do not have to endure Hell.

Here’s what you need to do. You need to accept His free gift to you by not only believing that God exists and that He did die for your sins but also by turning away from your sin and following after God with your life.

You need to accept Him! You cannot even begin to heal from your grief without His help. I beg you to consider this. If you have any questions about how to accept Him or would just like someone to talk to about your trust in Him, please use the contact form below. I would love to show you how God helped me overcome my grief through His peace.

Sincerely,

Sarah George

Angel Mommies: Helping Others Help You

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OK, so I can’t let you angel mommies off the hook. Just because I recently posted about how to respond to your grief, does not mean that others are solely responsible for this conversation. It is indeed a conversation. You should reach out too. Here a few ways to help others help you:

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How to Respond to an Angel Mommy (continued. . . )

Most people who know a mommy dealing with a loss don’t know what to say. They are unsure whether the topic is appropriate to broach and do not want to grieve the mommy further by reminding her of it. Can I tell you a secret? It’s probably on her mind each and every single day of her life anyway. Let me tell you the last 2 tips about talking to your angel mommy.

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How to Respond to an Angel Mommy

You are a close friend to an angel mommy, maybe even a best friend. Or perhaps you are a parent, sibling, pastor, or coworker to this grieving mother. You know that something has changed traumatically in her life, but how do you acknowledge this change without invading her personal grief? How do you talk about such a deep topic without being harsh or intrusive? Here are 5 steps to help you as you talk to your angel mommy:

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