Christmas is peeking at us right around the corner, and we’re all rushing to find those perfect gifts for family and friends. Maybe someone in your life recently lost a child, and you’re wondering what to get them. So, as a mommy who has gone through the trial of losing a child, I rounded up a few gifts that I think would be perfect for bereaved mothers.
You should know that I’m not making any money by sharing these ideas with you. I simply want to help you find gifts that bereaved mothers will appreciate.
I love the idea of a simple Christmas ornament that will include the child’s memory in the Christmas holiday. The design is simple; so it would blend right in with any color combination. If you’re looking for a subtle yet personal memorial gift, definitely consider this.
Some moms do want a daily reminder of their children. Since you can personalize nearly everything nowadays, you could gift a nice wall decoration with the child’s name on it. The mother could set it up on a shelf for display or hang it in a more private area, such as a closet or bedroom.
This gift is perfect for a mom who has planted a tree or flower in memory of her child or who has moved away from the state where her child is buried. Still, almost any bereaved mother would cherish a personalized garden stone. It gives her child’s memory a place close by without having to display this personal matter to every visitor who walks into her home.
Since my husband and I are just starting our lives together, we will likely not stay in our current place for too much longer. We both have career goals, and we would love to live closer to either side of our families. When we do move away, I will probably purchase a memorial garden stone pretty quickly. Then, for special occasions, the stone’s spot in our yard will give us a place to bring flowers and remember our babies.
To go along with the garden stone, you can also gift a potted plant or flower. I recommend potted trees actually, provided that the family would have a place to plant it. Although trees don’t flower, they do last longer than flowers. Their strength and size can remind a bereaved mother that her child’s memory is stable and long-lasting.
A Molly Bear
You can gift any kind of stuffed bear if you like, but Molly Bears make theirs the same weight as the deceased child. I know this sounds simple, but a mother might feel just a little closer to her child if she could hold a teddy bear that feels like her child.
Right after Hadassah died, I slept with the teddy bear that the photographer (from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep) gave us. The bear was a tiny one, and I think I would have really cherished a bear the size of her little body. Sleeping with that teddy bear helped so much, though.
Tammy Bears differ from the last gift because the company will actually make the bear from clothing that your child owned. Of course, this gift works well for a child who lived for a few months or years, but many mothers whose children die at infancy will have unused clothes meant for them. This gift could provide a use for those clothes, giving them a memory they can hang onto.
Baby Footprint Necklace
Another great gift for bereaved mothers is a necklace with the baby’s actual footprint and name engraved in it. While you’ll have to spend a little more to get this one, I can assure you that the mother will love it. She can keep the memory of her child close to her without having a huge display for all to see.
If you order this star kit, a mom can name a star after her child (unofficially). The most basic kit includes a certificate with the star’s coordinates and a personal sky chart. Many bereaved parents will find great joy in remembering their little star in the sky. Plus, it’s a great choice for parents who already have other personalized items or who would rather keep their child’s memory more private.
Certificate of Life
Especially for miscarried or stillborn babies, many bereaved mothers never receive a certificate that recognizes their babies. You could either make one using a template, ask a tech-y friend to make one for you, or buy this one online. This gift is budget-friendly, and many moms will appreciate the gesture.
One item that a sweet lady gifted me was a medium-sized memory box. I was delighted at its size actually. Anything smaller would not have fit all the sweet gifts and memories that we wanted to keep. If the mother doesn’t already have a good memory box, I highly recommend giving her one. Here are a few that I thought looked nice, but you can find a decorative box at Hobby Lobby or Michael’s: small (for girl), small (for boy), medium (gender neutral).
Sympathy Gift Basket
If the mother lost her child recently, a food basket will provide a useful gift. You could choose a healthy option like a fruit basket, or opt for a basket with dry goods that they can use after other people’s sympathy meals run out. You certainly can’t go wrong with food. To personalize the basket, consider making one since you know the family better than a distant company.
Writing in the Sand
For a great personalized photo, you can hire this Etsy company to take pictures of your child’s name written in the sand. They will add text and a starfish into the picture if you like, and they let you proof the project before it’s printed.
Since I love to remember my babies through candles, I had to throw this one in there. This terracotta candle holder can serve as the only one used on Infant Loss Awareness Day. It’s relatively inexpensive and comes with a copper flame extinguisher.
As you think through these gift ideas for the bereaved mother in your life, keep in mind her distinct wishes. Grief is quite a personal subject.
You may want to ask if she minds memorial gifts. You may also need to find out important details, like whether she wants to display pictures or wall art. Finally, if you trust in Christ as your Savior, you should pray for guidance. Most bereaved mothers will just appreciate your concern for them during the holidays.
by Sarah George