You are a close friend to an angel mommy, maybe even a best friend. Or perhaps you are a parent, sibling, pastor, or coworker to this grieving mother. You know that something has changed traumatically in her life, but how do you acknowledge this change without invading her personal grief? How do you talk about such a deep topic without being harsh or intrusive? Here are 5 steps to help you as you talk to your angel mommy:
1. Give some space.
At first, many people who have lost loved ones feel as if they are in a dream world. They are living in a state of constant shock. Then, these people bite the cold, gritty dust of reality and have to plow through it as if everything were the same as before. Let them work through their grief alone for a little while. You can let them know that you’re there for them, but try not to pry unless they explicitly tell you that they need your listening ears.
2. Be candid.
I can’t think of a better way to find out if your angel mommy wants to talk except to ask. You need to ask. Yes, she could run away or become angry at you for bringing up the subject, but nine times out of ten, your angel mommy will just be glad that you cared enough. However, you may want to pull her aside into a somewhat private setting.
3. Mention the baby.
Of course, your candid talk with mommy is a must before you put this step into action, but mentioning baby in regular conversation can help keep the angel’s memory alive. You don’t need to expound or talk about the baby’s death at all, but don’t pretend that it never happened, especially if this baby was mommy’s first. Make her feel like a mommy too.
to be continued . . .
by Sarah George