Find Healing through Online Grief Support

Online Grief Support

If you’ve experienced any grief over losing your child, you know just how extremely vital it is to get support. You may have seen the effects of the amazingly supportive people in your life, or you may understand the effects of living without support. For many, you might just fear the shame of asking for someone else’s help. Enter online grief support—through AfterTalk, to be exact.

You may have seen the article that I recently wrote for AfterTalk, and I thank you deeply for all your support. Many of you read this article and shared it on social media.

But AfterTalk actually goes beyond their inspirational stories and quotes on their blog. This grief website is an online support group that you can join for FREE, and they have several communities. Continue reading “Find Healing through Online Grief Support”

Coping with the Physical Effects of Grief

Grief Physical Effects

It makes sense that you would feel the physical effects of grief taxing your body and emotions when your child’s death first happens. Everyone offers his sympathy and nods his assent then.

They may not know grief personally, but they can relate to your feelings. After all, you just experienced the tragic loss of your child. That’s not supposed to happen.

But what about two months later? How about the six- or nine-month mark?

Continue reading “Coping with the Physical Effects of Grief”

When Grief Turns into Depression

Grief-related depression

We kind of expect a level of depression when we lose our children. We would feel wrong about bouncing back into normal life without heart-wrenching grief or those lifeless, empty moments. Still, you don’t want your grief-related depression to sink too far.

Continue reading “When Grief Turns into Depression”

A Veteran’s Grief

veteran's grief

Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day. On this important day, we will honor those who have given up much to serve our country. We will honor the sacrifices that have only deepened each veteran’s grief.

They have seen the horrors of combat, risked themselves to find crucial knowledge for our country, and trained hard to prepare for the enemy. Needless to say, these veterans deserve our utmost respect.

Continue reading “A Veteran’s Grief”

Your Baby’s Funeral: How to Plan

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You just experienced one of the worst events in your life: losing your baby. You honestly can’t think how things could get any worse. Then, the doctor starts talking about your baby’s funeral, and your stomach sinks.

The mere thought of picking up the phone and explaining your situation to a dozen strangers sends hot tears to your eyes and a tremor in your voice.

Continue reading “Your Baby’s Funeral: How to Plan”

Miscarriages Happen

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Many of you can’t identify with my story. My baby Hadassah had a rare condition called ectopia cordis that only affects 5-8 babies out of 1 million. Still, many of you have experienced your own deep grief, some losing your babies to miscarriage.

Don’t undervalue the grief accompanying a miscarriage. No matter how early you lose your baby, you will still grieve.

Continue reading “Miscarriages Happen”

For a Grieving Father from a Grieving Father

A photo by Danielle MacInnes. unsplash.com/photos/1DkWWN1dr-s

“Sweetie, what would you say to a father who is dealing with grief right now?”

With pencil and pink-striped notebook in hand, I followed my husband into the kitchen where he had pulled out his French press and was scooping Starbucks coffee grinds into it. His spoon paused in mid-scoop, and his jaw thrust out sideways with lips pressed together in thought.

“Hmm.” The coffee scoop resumed its task. Finally, Kenny swirled around and leaned against the counter, his eyebrows still set low and crinkling his forehead. “I would say that he definitely has a responsibility to his family, to be there for his wife. But he shouldn’t ignore his own grief. He needs to be honest and open if he wants a break or needs to cry. I think grieving for the father tends to be a slower process.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Well, at the beginning, he just has a lot of things to worry about. He gets distracted with errands for his family and funeral preparations, and he puts off grieving for later.” Kenny crossed his arms and stared seriously at the floor.

He continued, “The father shouldn’t be reclusive and internalize his grief. He should rely on others to help him get back to normal life, and I’m thankful to say that grieving is not part of normal, everyday life. You don’t have to grieve every day; you should get back to normal things.

Unfortunately, I don’t know that other men usually have close friends that they can relate to and rely on through their grief. Maybe they should plug into a church or take initiative in inviting friends somewhere. Sometimes he just needs to go out and get away.” Kenny pressed the grounds in the French press to the bottom and poured the coffee into two mugs, taking a sip of one.

“He also really needs to find a way to keep a proper perspective about God too. I know it helped me a lot when Pastor visited us and pointed out that this was not something that God was doing to us.”

I thank God often for my husband’s wisdom. Fathers truly do need to deal with their grief. You shouldn’t put it off because the reality is that grief will claw for your attention until you face it head on. If you never face it, grief can overcome you and tear your family and everyday life apart.

by Sarah George

Don’t Forget Daddy

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I was recently going through some pictures of Hadassah’s birth, and I always noticed how supportive Kenny was throughout the whole day. When I was in labor, he massaged my back, communicated with family, questioned the nurse, and checked on me every few minutes. He made sure that I was fed and pampered.

When Hadassah was born, he cried and stroked his little girl until she went to Heaven, and he held her for hours afterward at the hospital, tears glistening on his cheeks. I have never seen him cry so much.

Continue reading “Don’t Forget Daddy”

I Need Your Help!

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Good evening, angel mommies and friends!

I really want to dive into a deep topic soon about why God allows child loss. I realize that I am not an omniscient source on grief and child loss, and that’s why I need your help!

Over the next few weeks, I would like to study this topic Biblically. I am asking that you prayerfully consider studying it with me. Also, if you know any good sources about why God allows child loss, whether book or online format, please comment or message me about it. Thank you in advance for your help!

by Sarah George

The Absolute Best Way to Cope with Grief

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Dear Angel Mommy,

You can talk to counselors, cry on your loved one’s shoulder, or even read through this blog all that you need to. You can follow all the steps, identifying each stage of grief that you have surpassed. You can scrapbook, journal, sew, and rock yourself to sleep every hour of every day.

And let me tell you, the emptiness that you feel may never go away. You will never fully recover, and you may even experience repercussions such as physical ailment, emotional instability, and an overprotective will toward other loved ones. I will repeat that part: you may never fully recover.

Encouraging, right? I haven’t yet divulged the big secret. It is the single best (and in my experience, the only) way of dealing with grief. You cannot shake it away, lose it, or only access it at limited times. It is the only way to deal with grief whether you have ten million people crying over your loss or if not one other soul besides yourself knows that your baby existed. Here it is: you absolutely must cry out to God.

Let’s start from the ground up. In order to cry out to God for help during this trial, you must first know Him as your Savior. You may be reading this post right know and thinking, “I believe in God. Sure, I’ll just say a quick prayer to cover all my bases” or “I’ve been to church before and even became a member recently. That should count.”

The Bible says in James 2:19, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.” If you do believe that God exists, then you have made a great stride. But you should know that even demons believe in God and fear Him.

You have to go one step farther from just believing that a God might exist. You have to place your trust in His salvation.

Why should you? Other than this grief thing kinking your life, you may have a pretty good life. You try to help people and say kind words and get along with others well. You may give money to the homeless or even read the Bible.

But all of those good things do not mean that you have placed your faith in God. I love the way Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort explain salvation in this video.

Basically, no matter how much good you have done in your life, you cannot earn favor with God. Revelation 21:8 says that liars, murderers, and adulterers will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. Well, you have probably told a lie sometime in your life, but murdering or committing adultery?

Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” He goes on in 1 John 3:15, “ Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.”

God’s standard is so high that just hating your brother is equal to murder in His eyes and desiring to be with someone sexually is considered adultery. You see, God looks at the heart and not at the outward man.

If God judges your heart on Judgment Day when you are standing before Him, would He be a good Judge to let you go free? Would a judge be a good judge to pardon a murderer, even if the murderer had also done a lot of good in his life? I don’t think so.

Yes, God is love. John 3:16 says that God so loved the world. But God is also a holy God. Merriam-Webster defines holy well: someone who is “worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness.” If God is holy, meaning that He is sacred because of His perfection, then you or I cannot expect God to simply accept and love our unholy ways.

Something is missing. If you cannot be justified by your good works before God, then you are doomed to eternity in Hell. You legally deserve for God to cast you into black fire for an infinite length of time because you violated His laws.

But God is a loving God. He sent His Son Jesus to earth 2000 years ago to die for the sins that you committed today. Jesus, perfect and loving, took our sins on Himself so that we do not have to endure Hell.

Here’s what you need to do. You need to accept His free gift to you by not only believing that God exists and that He did die for your sins but also by turning away from your sin and following after God with your life.

You need to accept Him! You cannot even begin to heal from your grief without His help. I beg you to consider this. If you have any questions about how to accept Him or would just like someone to talk to about your trust in Him, please use the contact form below. I would love to show you how God helped me overcome my grief through His peace.

Sincerely,

Sarah George