The Absolute Best Way to Cope with Grief


Dear Angel Mommy,

You can talk to counselors, cry on your loved one’s shoulder, or even read through this blog all that you need to. You can follow all the steps, identifying each stage of grief that you have surpassed. You can scrapbook, journal, sew, and rock yourself to sleep every hour of every day.

And let me tell you, the emptiness that you feel may never go away. You will never fully recover, and you may even experience repercussions such as physical ailment, emotional instability, and an overprotective will toward other loved ones. I will repeat that part: you may never fully recover.

Encouraging, right? I haven’t yet divulged the big secret. It is the single best (and in my experience, the only) way of dealing with grief. You cannot shake it away, lose it, or only access it at limited times. It is the only way to deal with grief whether you have ten million people crying over your loss or if not one other soul besides yourself knows that your baby existed. Here it is: you absolutely must cry out to God.

Let’s start from the ground up. In order to cry out to God for help during this trial, you must first know Him as your Savior. You may be reading this post right know and thinking, “I believe in God. Sure, I’ll just say a quick prayer to cover all my bases” or “I’ve been to church before and even became a member recently. That should count.”

The Bible says in James 2:19, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.” If you do believe that God exists, then you have made a great stride. But you should know that even demons believe in God and fear Him.

You have to go one step farther from just believing that a God might exist. You have to place your trust in His salvation.

Why should you? Other than this grief thing kinking your life, you may have a pretty good life. You try to help people and say kind words and get along with others well. You may give money to the homeless or even read the Bible.

But all of those good things do not mean that you have placed your faith in God. I love the way Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort explain salvation in this video.

Basically, no matter how much good you have done in your life, you cannot earn favor with God. Revelation 21:8 says that liars, murderers, and adulterers will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven. Well, you have probably told a lie sometime in your life, but murdering or committing adultery?

Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” He goes on in 1 John 3:15, “ Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.”

God’s standard is so high that just hating your brother is equal to murder in His eyes and desiring to be with someone sexually is considered adultery. You see, God looks at the heart and not at the outward man.

If God judges your heart on Judgment Day when you are standing before Him, would He be a good Judge to let you go free? Would a judge be a good judge to pardon a murderer, even if the murderer had also done a lot of good in his life? I don’t think so.

Yes, God is love. John 3:16 says that God so loved the world. But God is also a holy God. Merriam-Webster defines holy well: someone who is “worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness.” If God is holy, meaning that He is sacred because of His perfection, then you or I cannot expect God to simply accept and love our unholy ways.

Something is missing. If you cannot be justified by your good works before God, then you are doomed to eternity in Hell. You legally deserve for God to cast you into black fire for an infinite length of time because you violated His laws.

But God is a loving God. He sent His Son Jesus to earth 2000 years ago to die for the sins that you committed today. Jesus, perfect and loving, took our sins on Himself so that we do not have to endure Hell.

Here’s what you need to do. You need to accept His free gift to you by not only believing that God exists and that He did die for your sins but also by turning away from your sin and following after God with your life.

You need to accept Him! You cannot even begin to heal from your grief without His help. I beg you to consider this. If you have any questions about how to accept Him or would just like someone to talk to about your trust in Him, please use the contact form below. I would love to show you how God helped me overcome my grief through His peace.


Sarah George