Losing your child can be one of the hardest experiences you ever endure. You may even feel as if the world around you isn’t real anymore, as if you’re in some game where you took a blow. You don’t want to forget your little one. My advice is to take the time that you need to remember your baby.
Since I knew ahead of time that losing my child was a likely outcome, I called a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to take pictures of my sweet girl. I know this option sounds weird, but seriously consider it. My husband and I love our pictures of Hadassah: they are such a sweet memory for us. The kicker is that Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep will do these pictures for free, and you don’t have to let them know ahead of time to call. The point is to take pictures of your baby because later you will want to remember that sweet face.
For most of you angel mommies, you probably didn’t know that you would lose your child ahead of time. You can still go through pictures that you do have or write down special memories. You can put those memories in a journal or scrapbook. Another great idea is to place any special toys, clothes, or blankets into a decorative box that you can go through from time to time. I did all of the above, including a detailed journal about every memory of or doctor’s visit for Hadassah. You could also start a grief journal and jot down your feelings when things get rough.
Only you know what you need to mourn your child. But the one thing you must NEVER do is to shut it all away, all the grief and memories and experiences. You have to deal with it, or it will one day get the best of you. Take your quiet time. Mourn for your child. And trust God’s purpose for your life.